By: Ed Moore III, WLJS 91.9 FM Anchor edmoorewljs@yahoo.com
(WLJS) --- Imagine living inside a body that you don't feel is just right. You are looking in the mirror everyday wondering if the skin you live in is a mistake.
That is the story of an Alabama woman and a New Jersey man, both who now live life as the opposite gender.
According to the Williams Institute out of Los Angeles, which is a sexual orientation and gender identity research center, nearly 700,000 people in the United States are transgender --- and with almost 500 people a year going under the knife for gender reassignment surgery, the numbers are rising every year.
Due to the amount of physical, bodily and therapeutic work that goes into gender reassignment surgeries, to operations on the body itself, to hormone pills, and sometimes years of therapy, it can cost anywhere from $7,000 to $50,000, according to studies.
With a country that slowly, might be recognizing the need for rights in the LGBT community, including the amount of celebrities who have come out the closet in the past year, transgender Americans may also see a rise in their rights in the future as well.
On Wednesday, California's Assembly Bill No. 1266, officially went into law, which specifically requires equal access to public school facilities and activities based on gender identity. California Gov. Jerry Brown signed the law on August 12, 2013. It is the first state in the nation to allow transgendered students to choose which school bathrooms and locker rooms to use and which sports teams to join based on their gender identity.
In June 2012, the Colorado Rights Division ruled in favor of 6-year-old Coy Mathis, who was born a boy, but identifies as a girl, to be able to use the girl's bathroom at her school, Eagleside Elementary, in Fountain, Colorado, located about 82 miles outside of Denver.
What do these landmark cases for the transgender community mean as a whole for the United States? 2014 may be able to tell us more.
WLJS News speaks with Roxanne Demornay of Birmingham, Alabama and Bill Coghill of Pennsauken, New Jersey.
Demornay was born as a boy named Jeffery Matthews. Here is her story:
"At an early age, 3 to 4 years old, I knew I was different. When I tried to use the boy’s bathroom when I was younger, they harassed me because I was feminine. From the girls, I was treated fine, but the boys treated me like an outcast. As I’ve gotten older, [I am treated] as the sex I represent. I began hormone therapy at 16-years-old. Today I feel more complete and I am the happiest I have been in years. I thought I was gay at first, but then as I learned who I was and started transitioning, I knew different. I am now in my 20th year of a relationship and he has been with me through my entire transformation.
"In my teen years, I have been kicked and punched to the ground by someone simply because I was different. [America] has come a long way, but we still have a long way to go. I am a highly religious person. I have struggled with it in the past, but I know God loves me as much as anybody else. God does not make mistakes. I attend a church every week. I cook at my church, I am on the usher board and I have a transgender ministry at my church. Members for the most part treat me just fine.
"It was difficult for [my family and friends] for the first 4 or 5 years but over time they have learned to adjust. I feel that Roxanne has arrived and I fit into society more and I am comfortable with who I am. If you at anytime feel confused, alone or otherwise [like an outcast] because of how you feel, seek help. Talk to someone. The help is out there for the asking. You don’t have to feel like you are alone. You are somebody. It gets better."
Coghill, who is now male, was born a female named Beverly Jean Coghill. Here is his story:
"I realized something was different at a very early age. I knew something was different when transgender issues were unheard of --- when there was no real vocabulary or terms to explain these internal issues I experienced. Those of us who were children in the fifties, sixties, and early seventies had no vocabulary, support groups nor other resources to help us to understand what it is to be transgender. So my point is, this shows what I realize and felt, without having the words for it, was real.
"Well, as a child, I was female-bodied and female looking enough so that you could tell I was a girl. However, as I began to express my gender identity an expression that gave me an androgynous look, (androgynous means partly male and partly female in appearance) it was difficult to use the public male bathrooms. For example, if I went to the female bathroom, it was thought that I was a man using the female bathroom. If I used the male bathroom, other males could see that I was not exactly a man, so again, I faced problems. So I was in a no-win situation. Understand that unisex public bathrooms, we don’t have access to in this society. So yes, it was difficult. Yes, I struggled with public bathrooms.
"In school, I was picked on and tease a lot because of my tom boy look and ways. I was not considered a normal girl, because I did not do the things that other girls did. For example, during recess I played with boys instead of girls. I played sports with boys. I was not very lady like as a girl, and the teachers saw that. [They] gave me a hard time for being more like a boy. Again, this was a time when gender issues were not heard of and when teachers and school institutions did not have the education for transgender issues. The lack of education is one of the reasons why I was not treated well in school.
"My family treated me as a member of the gender that they believed me to be. I was born female-bodied, so to them, I was a girl. This is what my mother stressed to me, over and over, that I was a girl, not a boy. My family, like so many other people, don't understand that sex and gender have a different meaning. They don’t understand that sex is your body and gender is your identity, your internal female or male identity, which may or may not match what your body or sex is.
"I realized I was in the wrong body around 13, but I lived as female for a long time. It wasn’t until my early 30's when I began my transition. What I mean by my transition is dressing and living as a man without the medical treatment. My transition started with dressing in male clothes, a male haircut, a male life-style and a male appearance, which gave me an androgynous look. I had the male look, but the body was still the same. So people, or the public, family, friends neighbors, society, could tell I was not exactly a boy. I was in my 4'0s when I received medical treatment to chance the body to be in line with the gender I am inside.
"To me, I have fully changed because I have received the medical attention I need. I had top surgery, and hormone treatment to express my male identity.
"They did not take it well at first, but since some of my family members have learned about gender issues, they understand more about what it is to be transgender. Now that they understand more, they treat me better.
"At one time I considered myself as gay, because I was not familiar with the term 'transgender' and did not know that gay and transgender are different. Once I learned the term transgender, I realized it is not about what I was attracted to. It is about my identity. It is about who I am inside.
"My dating life is not much. Right now, it is not important because I have other things on my agenda. Someday hopefully I will include dating in my life.
"Fortunately, I have not experienced violence in a physical way. I guess that was because others could see that I had a little fight in me. They could see that I would not let you harm me without fighting back. So I believe that kept me from violence that some people in the transgender community experienced. However, I have experience the verbal abuse that so many transgender people have encountered.
"The United States still has a long way to go as far as giving the LGBT community the rights that LGBT community is entitled to.
"My religion plays a big part in my life because my religion is my faith and strength. It’s important to me because. I need that something extra --- that extra strength that can get you through the difficult times that others try to put you through because you are different. Yes, I used to struggle with [my religion]. I no longer struggle with my religion since I’ve removed the oppressed theology from my mind that makes it difficult for you to believe that every member of the human race deserves God's love.
"I don’t have a church home, but sometimes I do go to a church that’s near my home place. The members of the church know that I am transgender. Some are okay with it, some are not. No one mistreats me, but there are some there who are uncomfortable with my transgender life.
"It was hard for my family and friends to adjust because they were so use to seeing that female side --- seeing me for so many years one way. Then, seeing the exact opposite --- to see male when they were use to seeing female, it was very hard for them to adjust.
"The difference [between being transgender and dressing like the opposite gender] -- dress as the opposite gender is associated with cross dressers, transvestites, drag queens. These are people who dress as the opposite gender for different reasons. The reasons may be for sexual gratification, for entertainment purposes or because they just have a desire sometimes to express the opposite gender. These are people who dress part time. Dressing because of gender transition is transgender people who don’t dress for any of the above three purposes. We dress as the opposite gender because it is the gender we are. We don’t dress part time. We dress this way all the time --- everyday.
"Well, since my transition, my self esteem is better. Because my self-esteem is better, I am more outgoing. I am involved in positive things and I want to share this positive energy I have with other people. I have my low moments, however, most of the time I am optimistic and upbeat. I feel this way because I’ve received attention and treatments that has made my life healthier.
"If you think you are transgender or may have gender issues, take time to explore to find out if you have these issues. Read materials that will provide you with information on this topic so that you may know what you are experiencing. Find a support group with other people who have this in common with you. This support group will give you a chance to share and a chance to listen to other people who will share. Going to a support group, there’s a chance for empowerment. The empowerment will give you the courage to take the necessary steps that you will need to take for you. Bottom line, do what you need to do to be yourself.”
This report was made through WLJS News in Jacksonville, Alabama on 1/1/2014 at 11:29 P.M.
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